The year started out real crappy panic attack after panic attack. I thought at the time that it was never going to get better, but it did. From May onwards, I had lots of things to look forward to. I decided to run for a position on a committee to try and get over my social anxiety, up to know its turned out pretty well, my best friend was coming at the end of may even though at end of may it was the start of exam season I was the best I'd been for a while. I had my friends that were there for me and the exams when quite well! It couldn't go wrong from there. Straight after the exams I had something to look forward to. Interrailing. I was a bit nervous as I had no control over what was going to happen as all I knew was where it started and where it finished. The part I had control over was organised, hostels were booked and return flights were also. The rest I'd know upon arriving in Brussels. The two other people that we got teamed up with are two of the nicest people in the world and we couldn't be luckier. It turned out to be the best experience ever! I built a friendship with someone that I now consider a very close friend and made two amazing new friends. After that it was summer break, almost three months of doing nothing. We went to Malta on holiday and had an absolutely amazing time in the hot weather! Then in September it was back to reality. Job hunting and Uni prep. This is where I almost lost it again. I found someone new to blame everything on, I just wanted to give up. My friends that were there for me in the early stages and got me through first year were away on their year abroad and I really didn't want to tell anyone else about it but you know what the best thing I did was talk to someone about it, well two people. I was being overly controlling getting into the old habits again. They made me let go and get through it gave me the courage to get through it and get on with life without blaming another person for what was happening to me. I made the person that I was blaming hate me and the chances are she probably still does but I'm doing my best. It was just a month of mental breakdowns one after the other, and that was only the first 4 weeks of term and my chances of succeeding that year were basically done. But I was picked up and kicked into touch and got past the break downs to a normal place! Challenges came along again with group job interviews, then individual job interviews and then being offered a job! I was ecstatic. The same day I had the job offer I had a concert to go to alone! I did it I went alone a survived! Then November went by with nothing really until the end where I started work! At first I thought that I was never going to get into the job and that I wouldn't be good at it but it turns out I wasn't alone! Loads of us were new, the christmas rush came and I did it without being overwhelmed, not even in the slightest. I've met some amazing people that in a short amount of time have, well, become friends. Now here we are, christmas has come and gone and I'm writing a life update on how I am. I've managed to cut out people from my life that weren't needed and managed (tried) to keep in contact with people that are close to me. I don't normally keep in contact with people very well but I'm doing my best if i lose contact with you don't take it personally. It's not you it's me literally.
But other than that I'm doing quite well no break downs, staying calm and rebuilding bridges with people.
and thats my year in review.
